So. Yesterday I decided to take a little break from the frenzy house-mind. I was needing some calm. I relaxed into the faith of knowing house isn't about greed, or lust, or an idea about how people will see you in it. It's about home. It's about potential, ideas, creativity, dreams. It's about places in the heart, about community, about closeness.
I spent the morning at my dear friend's baby shower. There was talk about the heart, about home, about finding room for new love. I drove home feeling good, relaxed, at ease. And first thing in the door, I hopped on mls... just to see, you know?
And I saw.
I saw it, and I knew.
A new listing. A tiny, beautiful cottage. The one I am dreaming of. With character. With a nice backyard. In the backyard is a tiny outbuilding that has been converted to an office. It's not insulated, and doesn't have a bathroom (yet), but it has promise. I could practice there, maybe, or make art. A great neighborhood, a safe haven.
How I got to making an offer is a long tale, and I am far too emotionally amped right now to go into all of it. Suffice to say, there was a long night with my realtor at my kitchen table, writing up quite an attractive offer.
Still no word. There are other showings today, and I am fearful of losing something I don't even have. All I have is hope at this point. Hope, and a feeling of rightness.
Last night was nearly sleepless, there could be several days of waiting and wondering. I will post more details as my emotions allow. It is painful at this moment, this waiting, the hope, something very fragile and precious teetering a precarious balance, the outcome of which is beyond my control. Please, if you happen upon this post, even if you don't know me, say a small prayer. Thank you.
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